Meet Mademoiselle Movie
I’m sitting in the cinema as I type, the Mademoiselle Movie. Hang on a minute you might reasonably ask, who is the Mademoiselle Movie and more to the point why should we take advice from her? Simply put I’m a woman who has lived and loved movies her entire life. I know what your next thought is, what sets me apart from the score of men reviewing movies each week? Well I didn’t wake up one morning and decide I wanted to critique popular culture, instead I worked hard. First in University with degrees in English, Communications and Education. Secondly, by sitting in theatres for hours on end (while consuming copious amounts of popcorn and Coca-Cola,) to discover what works and what doesn’t. I have the brains but more importantly I have the innate ability to decipher what is cool and what is just plain garbage…and that cannot be taught. I’m here to help my fellow movie lovers navigate a world flooded with content while providing driven, informed and thoughtful analysis. Each week I will be publishing new reviews while accepting suggestions from those seeking out the best in entertainment. So settle in and catch my reviews exclusive to Chick-N-Joy. Maybe if you’re lucky you will even catch me at your local Cineplex, I will be the one wearing ball gown to an action movie. They do call me the Mademoiselle for a reason. Till next time.
Monkey Man slices and dices its way to the big screen
I will begin my review by stating that I am perplexed by Monkey Man’s poor box office returns. Sadly, a new trend in society has emerged. The ability to coexist has been replaced by organized hate, while cancel culture surrounds us and bullying remains hidden behind usernames. Which leads me to wonder: How do these behaviours effect which movies are successful and which fail to resonate with the masses?
Monkey Man feels a bit like John Wick as it follows one man’s journey to get revenge. Dev Patel (Slumdog Millionaire,) plays double duty as both the protagonist and director of this film. Similar to John Wick there is an event that sends our hero, referred to as the Kid, on a vengeful path. There is a lot to enjoy in this film. Firstly, Monkey Man is laid out in three distinct portions as it moves from revenge to healing and back to revenge. In the first part we see the Kid struggling to execute his plan. The second part was a bit foreign to me as it heavily intertwined elements of Hindu mythology with the hijra community. While the scenes in the monastery are unexpected for this genre, I found myself liking them the most. Unlike storytelling in most North American features, Monkey Man approaches strength and courage against corruption in a manner that is yet to be exploited and that is what makes it so special.
The third part of Monkey Man is where the film truly hits its stride. I have yet to speak about why the Kid is seeking revenge and that is because it is very emotional. There is no cute puppy but instead a moment that is painful to watch. Consequently, after seeing the catalyst for Kid’s brutality I wouldn’t have minded a bit more butt kicking on his behalf. I love a great action film and when executed perfectly the fighting takes on an almost balletic rhythm. The structure of the fighting in Monkey Man feels crisp. Firstly, guns have been replaced with knives thus allowing a whole lot of wild hacking to happen. Secondly, Patel keeps the shots very close which allows for some hand and leg movements to be visible while others hidden, thus amping up each blow. As a viewer you feel as if you’re right beside the Kid, constrained and fighting. Each movement is imperfect, quick and effective. Moreover, the transformation physically of the Kid is inspiring. In his tailored black suit, the tall and handsome Patel is not just an Indian facsimile of John Wick, he could be John Wick.
When I was in Grade 6 we read a poem about how Canada was a cultural mosaic and the United States was an “unpleasant” melting pot. What happened to that optimistic state of mind where as Canadians we were eager to mix and learn with each other. It’s not a stretch to believe that the box office is reflecting a change. While one might say Monkey Man feels “alien” or “too far” removed, I would vehemently argue that regardless of background we can all identify as being the underdog and having to rise up.
Road House vs Road House
Other than catching a few minutes of Road House on AMC I have never seen the 1989 version starring Patrick Swayze in its entirety. To be honest, I never thought I would like it. It wasn’t till I heard a remake was coming out with Jake Gyllenhaal that I decided to invest in a double feature of the original and the redo… and in the end only one is worth watching.
The original Road House is enjoyable for the same reason most 80’s movies are…they don’t take themselves seriously. The story is simple. Dalton (Swayze) is hired as a “cooler” to clean up a local bar riddled with problems. Dalton is an incorruptible man with the mantra “be nice” who avoids violence at all costs…until he can’t. From the get go the movie is gritty, seedy and a bit cheesy with lines such as “with that line of work I thought you’d be bigger.” Nevertheless, each scene is acted with the utmost sincerity and you never feel like you are watching something comical. Swayze is in his element playing a zen (often shirtless,) cool guy without even flinching. Add in a boyish Jeff Healey as the resident musician and Kelly Lynch (as the brainy doctor/gorgeous love interest) and you have 80’s perfection. However, it is Sam Elliott who steals this movie. From the moment he runs his hands through his spectacular hair and utters the words “double douche” in that signature twang you can’t help but be charmed. No one looks like Sam Elliott, no one talks like Sam Elliott and no one is as effortlessly gutsy as he is. Yes, it appears that I have a bit of a crush on Sam Elliott, but that is what makes this movie so enjoyable. Road House has something for everyone: violence, power, sex appeal and most importantly an abundance of fun.
Road House 2024 on the other hand is not entertaining. Firstly, why is Dalton a former UFC fighter? Sorry, I’m getting ahead of myself but this newest incarnation is the ULTIMATE disappointment. To begin with in this version Dalton (Jake Gyllenhaal) is a former UFC fighter hired to clean up a rowdy bar in the Florida Keys. The bar in question is a cute tiki style establishment with a constant rotation of trendy bands. Immediately, I could tell that this version was way too sanitized for my liking. For example, during Dalton’s first “big” fight scene with a group of bad guys, (which by the way is a direct ripoff of Jack Reacher 2012,) Dalton beats up the group and then proceeds to drive them to the hospital. Stupid? Yes, big time! Road House continues on this brainless trajectory by including Conor McGregor as a UFC fighter trying to act as a UFC fighter. Sadly, although I am a Gyllenhaal fan (see Nocturnal Animals,) this movie only showcases his abs which could quite frankly grate cheese. The story is laughable, the cast is forgettable and the entire vibe is off. Skip this and watch the original and be sure to fast forward to the parts with Sam Elliott
Dune 2 and Love Lies Bleeding
Dune 2 is Dry As Dust
Nuff said
Love Lies Bleeding proves that the pursuit of love can get brutal
A slick trailer featuring Bronski Beat, Kristen Stewart and 80’s exercise gear: there was a lot to look forward to with Love Lies Bleeding even before the projector rolled. The story begins with a drifter/aspiring bodybuilder, Katy M. O’Brian, and a gym manager played by Kristen Stewart. The two meet, fall in love, kill and clean up. Yes, I’m overly simplifying this movie but the storyline is so out there that I don’t want to spoil it for you. What I can share is that Love Lies Bleeding is uninhibited, ultra violent and shocking.
Stewart gives another top-tier performance as Lou, a woman haunted by her past while struggling with her conscience. There are many closeups of Stewart in this movie with the darks circles under her eyes and her disheveled hair telling her story. Lou is lost, alone and struggling to connect with anyone. Jackie (O’Brian) on the other hand is the complete antithesis of Lou, she is feminine, showy and quick to anger. This movie is truly a testament to violence and how one act can snowball into another and another. No matter how Lou or Jackie try to justify their ferocity the cycle is bound to continue and we as the viewer are along for the ride. There are many moments in this movie that will cause you to jolt out of your seat but what I found most intriguing was the bodybuilding aspect. Jackie is obsessed with working out, so much so that she looks exactly like Marvel’s She-Hulk(see cover art for Marvel Graphic novel #18 1985 .) When Jackie loses control we see her body visibly transform. This brings an unearthly aspect to a story heightened in realism. Jackie remains an enigma throughout the film only to floor us during her final moments on screen. Lou on the other hand is seemingly manipulated by others only choosing to reveal herself during the end credits.
Love Lies Bleeding is unlike anything I have seen in a very long time. This movie is gritty and sharp with an unprecedented ending that will blow your mind.
Awards night excitement and Frankenstein
I am eagerly awaiting Oscars night. You see the Oscars have always been my Super Bowl and I am preparing myself. I know people say the Oscars are boring, long and pretentious but lets get real, this is a Hollywood event full of actors, so profound pontification it to be expected. What I love most about the Oscars are the looks. If you want to know what haircut, lipstick shade or outfit will be the next big thing this is the night to pay attention. I’m also looking forward to seeing what the men will be wearing. Pedro Pascal’s hybrid of swashbuckler meets “Puffy Shirt” look at the SAG’s had me convulsing with laughter, while Ryan Gosling modelled yet another alluring Gucci number. Looks aside, I’m always curious to find out which movies will win and which movies will be snubbed. Sorry Barbie, even though you ruled the box office I predict your only win will be for Best Original Song. Oscar night also brings the promise of high drama, quotable speeches and record breaking wins. Here’s wishing Lily Gladstone brings home a well deserved statuette for Killers of The Flower Moon. There are 23 categories when all is said and done and I have made my predictions for all of them. Consequently, I am going into the night confident with all my picks.
One movie that won’t be winning any awards however is Lisa Frankenstein
I know it’s a clumsy segue but I’m eager to share my newest review. Written by the Oscar winning writer of Juno, Diablo Cody and directed by Zelda Williams (Robin Williams’ daughter,) Lisa Frankenstein is a cluttered mess. The poster for this movie is beautiful with its attractive 80’s Weird Science appearance and humorous tagline. “If you can’t meet your perfect boyfriend…make him.” Not only cute but clever. I know I have a few exes that I wouldn’t mind piecing together to create my ideal. Hmmm….I’ll take his abs and that killer smile please. Initial perception aside the actual film is a disaster. The plot revolves around teenager Lisa Frankenstein, Kathryn Newton, who discovers a man brought back from the dead. She precedes to use real human parts to make him whole again via a tanning bed with serious electrical problems Don’t get me wrong the idea has all the features of a fun coming of age movie but the execution is subpar. Firstly, the acting is not good with the entire cast overplaying, making each joke fall flat. Cole Sprouse, as the Creature, is the only highlight and while he doesn’t say more then one sentence, he steals scenes with his offbeat facial expressions. Secondly, the silhouette sequence during the opening credits is a direct copy of Tim Burton’s Corspe Bride. The similarities with Tim Burton continue with obvious poaching from Edward Scissorhands and Beeetlejuice. Thirdly, both the story and visuals have no natural flow making it more student film rather than a studio feature. Sadly, the idea seemed promising but the poor artistry stripped it of any value.
The Beekeeper and Night Swim
Cinemas are embroiled in a never ending battle to get people away from their televisions. $5 Tuesdays anyone? Like many I have all the streaming services and lately I spend too much time jumping between them trying to figure out what to watch. Let’s be honest, streaming services have a lot of junk on them and I am over wasting my time on mediocrity, whether it’s twenty minutes or two hours. Here are two flicks that came out in theatres and were sadly forgotten.
The Beekeeper targets our emotions unlike any other Jason Statham vehicle I have ever seen. To be clear I loved Jason Statham in Lock, Stock and Two Smoking Barrels and The Transporter…and then the love affair started to fade. I began to find all of his movies formulaic and that Statham, as an actor, didn’t have the charisma to sustain my attention. That is until The Beekeeper, which appears to be a typical revenge flick. What makes this movie work however is the catalyst for the subsequent violence which is relatable and full of merit. Without giving anything away, I thoroughly enjoyed watching Statham standing up for a segment of society that is suffering from rampant abuse. His desire for reprisal had my support and I cherished every kick and punch he delivered. Unlike equivalent John Wick films, the fighting in The Beekeeper feels purposeful and gritty while showcasing Statham’s superior physicality. Hopefully, Statham will continue on this trajectory with his future choices because he finally won me over. A fun movie with an unexpected storyline.
Night Swim strives to do for the swimming pool what Jaws did for the ocean. The idea behind this movie is perfect, a killer pool that preys upon all who enter it wearing elastane or polyester. Cue Wyatt Russell (Kurt Russell’s son) and Kerry Condon and you have a fresh set of players to round out the cast. There is a lot to like about this movie. Russell tugs at our heartstrings as a baseball player whose career has been cut short. Story wise the idea of having an inanimate object as the villain is very refreshing. The major flaw of this film however is the lack of a backstory. In 2002’s The Ring we witnessed a videocassette that had the ability to kill the viewer. We came to understand how the evil was created and then the story unraveled logically. I wanted to see a similar rhythm in Night Swim. While an explanation is revealed for this demonic pool it feels rushed and half baked. A slower buildup of tension and more exposition would have made Night Swim a scarier cult classic. Either way it has me rethinking my evening swim.
There is something magical about going to the cinema and sitting in a theatre of like minded people who laugh and scream at the same parts as you. It’s a community that you can’t join from your couch. Sometimes going to the cinema is a risk because the movie might suck and sometimes it can be a revelation. Either way you will find me there each weekend reviewing the newest that Hollywood has to offer.
Killers of the Flower Moon proves Scorsese still has it
When Killers of the Flower Moon was released in theatres I didn’t rush out to see it. Of course I was intrigued at the prospect of a new film with the names Scorsese, De Niro and DiCaprio…but then I remembered The Irishman. Well that isn’t entirely true, I don’t remember much about The Irishman aside from the pricey and awful de-aging technology. The edginess that Scorsese achieved in every shot of his films has seemingly gone missing in the last 15 years, and with each new movie my anticipation has diminished. Yet I digress, as I stated in my opening sentence I didn’t rush out to see this movie and that was my mistake.
If you have ever felt bullied, intimidated or forgotten this movie is for you. At first glance Killers of the Flower Moon might feel too uncomfortable and that is precisely its objective. The story focuses on a series of murders of Osage members in 1920’s Oklahoma. From start to finish the sheer scope and ruthlessness of these murders will seem unbelievable, even though it is true. The stark imagery, dense costumes and gritty colour invoke feelings of being constrained. As the story progresses the booming sounds continue to build upon that discomfort. Recently, I have found myself becoming nostalgic for the Scorsese of old: Mean Streets, Goodfellas and The Departed. Well I am happy to report Scorsese successfully brings back that same grittiness and transplants it into history.
The authenticity of this film is achieved by the brilliant performances of all of its actors. I was worried about De Niro being able to rise up to the occasion after an array of garbage roles and famously claiming he is “forced to work.” Nevertheless, he gives and amazing performance opposite an equally brilliant DiCaprio, whose downturned mouth and greedy eyes fuel his overall ugliness. The standout performance of the film however comes from Lily Gladstone who will win the Academy Award. Gladstone immediately commands your attention. There is something so elegant about the way she sits and delivers her lines. I can’t quite pinpoint it but every word is precise with the perfect amount of emphasis and enunciation. Her acting is innate, powerful and deserving. Moreover, I must mention the amazing backgrounds actors, many of whom are not actors at all but chosen due to the length of their braids or chiseled features. I especially enjoyed Tommy Schultz who portrayed Blackie Thompson. Although his time on screen is limited his delivery is real.
It is hard to imagine that anyone could get away with targeting a particular group for money and then picking them off one by one without any police intervention. Such injustice is finally revealed in an excruciating fashion that only Scorsese can depict. With both brutality and empathy, there are few movies that I have watched and wished would never end. Killers of The Flower moon is one of them. Thus making Killers of the Flower Moon the best movie of 2023.
Stream It Or Leave It: Netflix Edition
May December will leave you uncomfortable and icky all over
Whether is was Inside Edition or The Jay Leno Show, the world was collectively repelled in the 90’s by the twisted true story of Mary Kay Letourneau. May December uses that as a blueprint in the marriage of Grace (Julianne Moore) and Joe (Charles Melton) a couple who were romantically linked when Grace was 36 and Joe was 13. Disturbed yet? It gets wilder when you throw in Elizabeth (Natalie Portman) an unbalanced actress portraying Grace in a made for tv movie. Although the subject matter is heavy, Director Todd Haynes unpacks it in a way that will keep you captivated. The acting is exceptional from all three as every nuance is captured to perfection, from Grace’s controlled lisp to Joe’s adolescent gestures and Elizabeth’s duplicity. The musical score heightens the experience with its dramatic piano notes evocative of Far From Heaven, (also directed by Todd Haynes and also incredible.) Moreover, the twist at the end will have you rethinking everything. Similar to a car crash, you won’t be able to turn away from your screen, Be forewarned, after viewing you will need to take a long soapy shower to get all the ewwwwww off. Stream It
Rebel Moon Part 1 is a mess…but there is hope
Rebel Moon is written and directed by Zack Snyder, the brains behind 300 and arguably the best superhero movie ever Justice League: The Snyder Cut. Without sugarcoating anything I can legitimately say Rebel Moon is a nonsensical mashup up of the very best of popular culture. From Star Wars to Game of Thrones and even Lost in Space, everything but the kitchen sink is in this movie. There are lightsabers, robots and a resurrection scene that is all to familiar. What was Snyder thinking? Speaking to DGA Director’s Cut Podcast, Snyder talked having to cut Rebel Moon into a Netflix mandated PG-13 version. He goes on to state that in the summer his R-Rated version will be released which will be a “completely different movie,” without the sanitation requested by the studio executives. Another Snyder Cut? I feel hope beginning to blossom once again. It’s worth noting amidst the mess this movie does have a very bright spot and that is the the cast which is precise and exciting. With Sofia Boutella, Ray Fisher, Bae Doona and my new personal favourite, Staz Nair, Snyder creates a surprising ensemble. I wish it was summer already.
Maestro hits all the wrong notes
Upon seeing the commercial for Bradly Copper’s latest directorial endeavour I expected an epic biography encapsulated within a romantic story. Maestro however is not a love story and Cooper is not able to convince us that Leonard Bernstein and his wife, played by Carey Mulligan, have any tenderness for one another. For the entire film Bernstein has multiple affairs, flaunts his boyfriends in front of his wife and children and is a complete cad. We never learn about Bernstein’s genius and true insights. Moreover, the only brilliance in this movie is Carey Mulligans’ performance. Leave It
Holiday Wrap Up
Silent Night creates a new genre, the sentimental revenge flick
If you haven’t heard of Silent Night starring Joel Kinnaman and directed by John Woo I’m not surprised, it had almost no PR. Silent Night is a hard movie to classify. On one hand the story is simple, Brian Godlock’s (Kinnaman) son gets killed on Christmas Day. Add John Woo into the mix and the execution of the story exudes an avant--garde flair. With zero dialogue, heart wrenching closeups and crisp visuals, Woo’s return to Hollywood is a welcome gift. What this movie nailed so skillfully was the concept of a regular man seeking retaliation. Unlike John Wick movies where the action unravels in a balletic rhythm, Silent Night is full of ugly fighting. Every blow plays out like a battle to the death while our hero struggles significantly. As Godlock delivers each fatal shot we can see a mixture of anger, shock and grief in his eyes. By taking a violent theme and filling it with true emotion Silent Night is my clear favourite of the holiday season.
Wonka and Aquaman
Wonka is an adequate film with a good supporting cast and mouthwatering imagery. Nevertheless, there is nothing memorable about this movie. The original songs are mediocre and Olivia Coleman, who I usually adore, gives an over the top performance more fitting of Miss Hannigan in Annie. To be clear I have never liked the character of Willy Wonka, whether it was Gene Wilder or Johnny Depp, Willy Wonka always came across as disturbing to me. Timothee Chalamet however changed that. The enjoyability of Wonka rests solely on Chalamet. Chalamet with his perfectly coiffed hair, effortlessly emanates goodness, sweetness and wide eyed optimism in every scene. See if for Chalamet but be prepared to be underwhelmed with the rest.
Aquaman and the Lost Kingdom serves as Jason Momoa’s swan song to the DC superhero. I am not happy about how James Gunn imploded the Snyderverse. The fact that all the superheroes, especially Wonder Woman, have been swept to the gutter only to rehash the same origin stories is frustrating. However, I must commend James Wan’s commitment to the fans as he works overtime to tie up loose ends. Aquaman and the Lost Kingdom begins by filling in the blanks on what has happened since the last movie. The story then shifts to a team up between Patrick Wilson’s character, Ocean Master, and Aquaman. I especially liked this part because it allowed both Wilson and Momoa to play off each other and have some fun. Be warned an odd mash up of the Cantina scene in Star Wars and Jules Vernes’ Journey to the Center of the Earth happens midway. Aquaman and the Lost Kingdom is not great but it has its moments.
I’ve been away from the cinema for a couple of weeks as I worked on my roller skating. Time to get back to the movies.
Anatomy Of A Fall is thriller devoid of thrills
The film begins at a secluded home in the French Alps where a man falls out of an attic window and dies. Was he pushed by his wife or was it simply an accident? If this were a Dateline Mystery we would cue Keith Morrison’s iconic voice and he would expertly guide us through every intricacy of the case. The twist and turns would have us on the edge of our seat for two hours. Sadly, this isn’t a Dateline (or even a thriller,) and that is where this movie fails for me. The thriller genre implies that a movie has suspense, surprise and intensity, all of which are lacking from this film. The detective work has no clever deduction and mystery while the courtroom scenes add little drama and intensity to plot. The movie drags the viewer through a monotonous journey without a Primal Fear ending that would have least given the story the payoff it sorely needed. Granted Anatomy Of A Fall won the Palme d’Or for Director Justine Triet and Sandra Huller gave the performance of the year as both grieving wife and suspect No 1. Nevertheless, regardless of the accolades this film is simply boring.
Maestro hit all the wrong notes
Upon seeing the commercial for Bradly Copper’s latest directorial endeavour I expected an epic biography encapsulated within a romantic story. I’ll be honest, I know virtually nothing about conductor/composer Leonard Bernstein. After viewing Maestro I found I still know nothing about conductor/composer Leonard Bernstein. I am not sure what story Cooper was trying to tell. Cooper fails to focus on Bernstein’s rise to fame while instead choosing to repeatedly show us what an awful man he was. Maestro is not a love story regardless of the ads and Cooper is not able to convince us that Leonard Bernstein and his wife, played by Carey Mulligan, have any tenderness for one another. For the entire film Bernstein has multiple affairs, flaunts his boyfriends in front of his wife and children and is a complete cad. We never learn about Bernstein’s genius and true insights. Moreover, the only brilliance in this movie is Carey Mulligans’ performance, which will assuredly garner her an Academy Award nomination. The way in which her carefree spirit and hopefulness is destroyed is a heartbreaking odyssey that must be witnessed firsthand. Save yourself the price of admission at the TIFF Lightbox and wait for Maestro’s release on Netflix.
Next Week: Silent Night and my Classic Holiday Movie Picks
A leftover from my cinema trip this past Sunday
As you all know by now I love scary movies and will always endorse the shower scene in Psycho as sheer perfection. Nevertheless, when it comes to slasher movies I still put my hand in front of my face and peek between my fingers as I watch. Thanksgiving takes place in Boston during the aforementioned holiday. The movie begins with a massive group of irate shoppers before Black Friday outside of a big box store. The imagery is familiar but the outcome is far more disturbing. I do not want to give away any spoilers, instead I will say this movie is really, really good. Patrick Dempsey successfully breaks free from his long held McDreamy image. His Boston accent never falters while his performance brings to mind countless Stephen King Sheriffs. The story is fun and the killer’s mask has the making of an iconic Halloween costume. However, what makes this movie truly disruptive is the manner in which each character reaches their demise. To be clear, I have never seen a human basted on screen but it had me both laughing and screaming out loud. Directed by Eli Roth, Thanksgiving is filled with gore, guts and creative butchery that will leave you scared senseless. I recommend you skip the cliche holiday movies this week and start a new tradition that oozes holiday flavour…complete with all the fixings.
The Marvels combusts into a confusing and clumsy mash-up
Although Wonder Woman has always been my favourite superhero, Brie Larson’s turn as Captain Marvel had me rearranging my top five. When I watched the final scene in Endgame, which hinted at Captain Marvel as the next leader of the Avengers, I was excited for the future. Sadly, The Marvels (which is both a sequel and Disney+ tie in) serves as a franchise destroyer.
2019’s Captain Marvel was a wonderful introduction to MCU’s most powerful Avenger. With a mixture of 90’s nostalgia, a banger soundtrack and an Academy Award winner playing the heroine, I loved this movie. I anticipated the sequel would continue Carol Danvers’ plot line but was surprised to see The Marvels begin in Kamala Khan’s bedroom. If you are confused already let me simplify this. There are three leads in The Marvels: Captain Marvel (Larsen,) Ms. Marvel (Iman Vellani) and Monica Rambeau (Teyonah Parris.) The latter two were introduced in Disney+ limited series which has me wondering why is Captain Marvel being upstaged already? A typical comic book sequel has the superhero on a solo adventure as we continue to get to know them. It isn’t until that the third movie that multiple villains appear and team-ups develop. This leads me to question Disney’s confidence in Captain Marvel.
The Marvels should have been a vehicle for Larsen to showcase her aptitude for the genre. Instead, her time on screen was minimized and overshadowed. Ms. Marvel and Wandavision were both enjoyable tv series. Nevertheless, like all Disney+ shows (except The Mandalorian,) each started out strong only to flame out in the final two episodes. Although Ms. Marvel was fresh and fun it always felt like I was watching a B List superhero. Consequently, I was surprised to see the considerable focus on her family in The Marvels which felt like a bonus episode. Although the Khan family is endearing, The Marvels relies heavily on them as comic relief which proves tiring. Meanwhile, Captain Marvel’s ridiculous transformation was annoying. I loved how gutsy and strong Larson’s Captain Marvel was in the first film (think back to her on the motorcycle in her NIN t-shirt.) Unfortunately, in the sequel she becomes a princess, sings, dances and corrals a group of kittens. I was left in disbelief as I witnessed so much potential implode monumentally on screen.
In writing this review there is little to analyze or be excited about. The story was weak, the villain inconsequential, the battles forgettable, and Nick Fury (Samuel Jackson) uncool. The MCU is oversaturated and the quality of theses movies has gone down considerably but I didn’t expect The Marvels to be Quantumania bad. It’s time for a complete MCU overhaul with great writing and storytelling that matters for the viewer.
Priscilla is a disturbing and uncomfortable movie to watch
My stomach is tied up in knots as I struggle to absorb Sofia Coppola’s new film. Priscilla portrays Elvis (The King of Rock and Roll,) as a predator, groomer and all around creep. If you love Elvis’ music and appreciate him as an artist you will find this film brutal.
Priscilla is based on the 1985 memoir Elvis and Me by Priscilla Presley. At 14 years of age we witness Priscilla being introduced to Elvis Presley who was 24. At 17 years old Priscilla was living with Elvis at Graceland without her parents. What I found most unsettling were images of Elvis giving an underage Priscilla pills while abusing her both physically and mentally. Such manipulation is something I’ve never associated with Elvis, and it was gut-wrenching.
Priscilla is a story about adolescence and isolation, themes Director Sofia Coppola captured successfully in her breakout feature The Virgin Suicides (1999.) Coppola’s directorial style revolves upon a narrative reflective of Pricilla’s experience. Consequently, Elvis’ glitzy lifestyle is replaced beautifully with simple sets, purposeful imagery and slow storytelling. The soundtrack reiterates this by substituting Elvis’ songs with Dolly Parton and new wave and post punk sounds. While Coppola artistically wants Priscilla to control her own story Cailee Spaeny, as Priscilla, never takes her character to the next level. Throughout the entire movie (minus a quick karate class,) Spaeny can only emote naivety. Sadly we never see any evidence of a transformation or tangible quest to regain self worth.
With two very different Elvis movies in the span of two years it’s hard to know which one is accurate. 2022’s Elvis, the critically acclaimed biopic, maintained Elvis was used and controlled by those around him. Austin Butler as Elvis added credibility through his mannerisms which were so effective that at moments you were unsure if you are watching archival footage or Butler himself. In Priscilla, Elvis is presented as the clear villain and Jacob Elordi’s poor acting makes you hate him even more. Elordi brings little confidence to the role and there were moments while he was delivering his lines that the audience began to laugh. In the end, we will never know what really happened between Priscilla and Elvis because the latter is not here to tell his side of the story. Does Priscilla have a hidden agenda or is it full of authentic reflections? I just don’t know and that is worrying.
Priscilla is directed artfully by Sofia Coppola but suffers from content adapted from a tell- all book. I admire films that assert female independence but I question Priscilla Presley motives after decades of profiting directly from Elvis’ estate. What you will take from this movie are the warning signs of unhealthy relationships, a message that is well timed and significant.
Sick is perfectly executed from start to finish
I have often found myself on my couch in my pyjamas watching a “trending” movie only to be disappointed. However, its been a year since I began going to the movie theatre once a week, ordering a Combo #1 and sinking into a comfy stadium seat. After seeing a commercial for Sick (2022) I was persuaded to change my routine. Sick is a slasher film (now available to rent) set during Covid. I wondered is it too soon to revisit a period that was so unusual and isolated? The answer is NO, Sick intelligently creates fear out of the relatable.
The nineties were typified by smart teenage-led horror films that included Scream (‘96) and I Know What You Did Last Summer ‘(97.) Serving as writer on both was Kevin Williamson, the co-writer of Sick. The opening scene of Sick begins with visuals that have come to define 2020. From the arrow lines on grocery store floors to the hoarding of toilet paper, every moment is accurately shown. Immediately I could feel my pandemic uneasiness return and I welcomed it. I can still recall Drew Barrymore in the opening sequence of Scream and how quickly I was on the edge of my seat. That same energy was prevalent during the first few minutes of Sick. Similar to Scream, Sick makes you feel anxious even before the first stab occurs. Moreover, ill sneezes and subtle coughing brilliantly compliment an abundant supply of blood and guts.
Sick captures the youth experience by focusing on attitudes and actions that transcend. Consequently, we witness the dangers of social media, the natural desire to break the rules and the prominence of athleisure in a teenage closet. Bringing these concepts to life is a young cast comprised of relative newcomers. The acting is believable and you feel that these young adults could be your friends or acquaintances. Meanwhile, every scream and fight is executed perfectly. The overhead shot on the lake as Parker (Gideon Adlon) moves to avoid the killer plays out like a sinister dance. As Parker begs a woman for help and is rejected because she’s not wearing a mask you can’t help but laugh apprehensively. Lastly, the close up of a nasal swab being pushed too deep is just the right amount of disturbing that will leave you wanting more.
Sick is successful because it takes the thriller genre and transplants it into a terrifying moment in history. I still recall seeing the streets empty and sitting at home for months restlessly. During that time streaming movies became commonplace due to both necessity and ease. That is why I find myself eager to head outside my home to be entertained. The simple act of dressing up for my weekly movie trips keeps me grounded, productive and excited to write reviews about what I love….movies.
Till next time, The Mademoiselle
The Exorcist: Believer is an entertaining Halloween treat
I could spend this review dissecting The Exorcist: Believer ad nauseam or comparing it to its original but that wouldn’t be fair. Instead my critique this week will be based solely on its enjoyability and squirm factor.
Every October I find myself watching the classics such as House of Wax (‘53,) Cape Fear (‘62) and Poltergeist (‘82.) Durning the pandemic the majority of Hollywood movies released on Home Premiere were scary movies. As a result, Blumhouse Productions became synonymous with modern terror Some of those movies were great, while some were iffy, but they were always shocking in their ability to keep me on edge. When I saw the trailer for The Exorcist: Believer I knew I had to see it on the big screen.
The Exorcist: Believer begins with two girls who go missing. The cast is superb and I was impressed how each actor’s portrayal contributed equally. Both Lidya Jewett and Olivia O’Neill as the girls do a fine job at being possessed, but are a little too reminiscent of Linda Blair both in mannerisms and facial prosthetics. Leslie Odom Jr. as the father is exceptional. His face as he descends from joy to confusion and subsequent sadness was realistic and convincing. Meanwhile Ellen Burstyn’s reprisal as Chris MacNeil didn’t miss a beat. At 90 years old she is just so cute that I was left praying no harm would come to her. Moreover, Burstyn’s final scene is designed perfectly for die hard fans.
Although not extremely horrific I did catch myself twisting about in my seat repeatedly. I have studied subliminal advertising, and even been hypnotized by The Amazing Kreskin, so I have confidence in the power of suggestion. It is well documented that The Exorcist (‘73) used subliminal photography to scare viewers but it was 1952’s My World Dies and a Date With Death that applied the technology first. The Exorcist: Believer once again uses flashing images to manipulate viewer perceptions. Although, the flashing was noticeable to the naked eye their were numerous instances where I saw a flicker but was unsure about the content. I think I saw some landscape perhaps a boy upside down…but without the ability to hit the rewind button I know my sleep tonight would be the determiner of its influence.
I have found it difficult watching children in horror movies. Perhaps it’s movies such as Alice, Sweet Alice (‘76) and Burnt Offerings (‘76) that still haunt me. Nevertheless, the supernatural and children have historically proven to be a winning combination. The Exorcist: Believer combines great acting, a scary build up an all the horror tropes that one would expect. Add some subliminal stimulation into the mix, and you have a movie that will pierce straight into your subconscious.
The Creator fails to manufacture any energy or heart
When I saw the commercial for The Creator touting it as the “best science fiction film in the last decade,” I was intrigued. Then I started to think about the sci-fi movies that were released in the last 10 years. There was Gravity, Blade Runner: 2049 and The Martian, all enjoyable. Eagerly I purchased a ScreenX ticket for The Creator anticipating a thrilling journey but instead was thrust into an oblivion.
The Creator takes place in a not so distant future where Artificial Intelligence has run rampant. The movie begins with Joshua’s (John David Washington) quest to find the ultimate threat and destroy it. His job becomes increasingly harder when he learns that the weapon he seeks comes in the form of a young AI child, complete with supernatural powers. Upon seeing the adorable 9 year old Alfie (Madeleine Yuna Voyles,) I immediately thought of Firestarter and Stranger Things. Similar to those young female protagonists, Alfie steals the screen with her wide eyes and beautiful line delivery. Nevertheless, her talent is wasted on a one dimensional character whose role as a deity is never even explained.
The emotional core of the The Creator revolves upon a brief romantic backstory and repeated flashbacks. John David Washington’s portrayal throughout these “pivotal” scenes is weak. His stoic acting and complete indifference is frustrating to watch. Washington allows the few moments of brevity to fall flat while stripping away any tenderness between Joshua and Alfie. During the climatic finale as Joshua and Alfie exchange “I love you’s” it was difficult to believe these two even cared for each other. Although my disappointment is palpable in this review, it is important to note that the overall theme surrounding The Creator is smart. Discussions of whether we can trust AI, will it make humans obsolete and how do we stop the chaos that will ensue, are all very valid. The Creator however fails in its inability to address any of these points, leaving questions unanswered and a feeling of emptiness after the credits have rolled.
Where the plot falters the visuals do little to better the experience. I saw The Creator in ScreenX prepared to be fully immersed. ScreenX is a format in which the screen is not only in front of you but also beside you in order to place you directly in the action. Sadly, the world presented was visually depressing while the ScreenX format was fully utilized at the end of the film. The landscape was bleak while the robots and CGI looked unpolished. I sat in the theatre for 2 hours and 15 minutes and there was no fear, joy, wonder or sadness. In the end my only thought was how cool it would be to see Aliens or The Terminator in ScreenX. Amazing science fiction is so hard to find these days…
A Haunting In Venice Proves That Even The “World’s Greatest Detective” Can Get “Rusty”
Whether you read Agatha Christie as a teenager, or revisited her work as an adult, her stories have always been able to engage us with there dialogue and memorable plot twists. A Haunting In Venice is very loosely based on Christie’s story the Halllowe’en Party, thus serving as a Coles Notes version of her collective writings rather than a true reflection of her genius.
In A Haunting In Venice, Kenneth Branagh returns for his 3rd run as Hercule Poirot. The movie begins with Poirot having regrown his “immense” moustache and now retired in Venice. Poirot’s seclusion is cut short by a new mystery to solve. Kenneth Branagh is no stranger to portraying literary characters, from Henry the V to most spectacularly Hamlet in 1996. His mastery of Shakespearean dialogue and his ability to make it easy to comprehend is his true gift. In stark contrast, Branagh’s portrayal of Poirot comes off as exaggerated and silly, leading me to question why Branagh has become so invested in continuing the franchise. Although both Murder on the Orient Express and Death on the Nile were of quality, there was nothing groundbreaking about these films.
A Haunting In Venice uses a famous cast of players and beautiful sets. While the story is formulaic, nothing is given away and you will be left wondering “whodunit” until the very end. The variety of actors from Tina Fey to Camille Cottin to Jamie Dornan to Ricardo Scamarcio is welcome. Witnessing actors of different styles and capabilities engaging each other on film harks back to the Studio System, and I must say I really loved it. Most notably Kyle Allen stood out as one to watch in the future, while Jude Hill (Belfast) gave another strong performance. As Branagh does double duty as both actor and director, we observe postcard-like views of Venice that are very pretty. I was disappointed however with the duplicated shots of the rainstorm which was both boring and empty filler. In comparison to other thriller aficionados such as Alfred Hitchcock and M. Night Shyamalan, Branagh’s technique is less stylized and does not move forward the genre.
One of my favourite shows of all time was Columbo, a modernized version of Christie’s Poirot. Comparable to the recent Poirot incarnations, each Columbo episode was filled with high profile stars and an intriguing dissection of a murder. The big difference was that Colombo was on TV and a Haunting In Venice is a big budget film. I expect more when I sit in the cinema and that doubles if the story is based on a famous authors work. Although A Haunting In Venice is good it does not break the mold. Perhaps I expect too much. Nevertheless, Agatha Christie was the “Queen of Crime,” and if your going to pay homage to her work you need a well structured script and a trailblazer mentality.
TIFF 2023 spoiler alert: The only STARS you will see this year are in the SKY
The Toronto International Film Festival is different this year. While the street festival was in full swing this past weekend with its free Pizza Nova slices, L’Oréal cosmetics and Nickelback concert, something felt off. Without the glitzy parties, jam packed press junkets and Hollywood stars, it’s easy to wonder what’s the point? Since the spotlight has shifted in the past 15 years from a celebration for pure movie lovers to a red carpet extravaganza, you can feel the loss.
I first learned about TIFF in the late 90’s early 00’s when I saw an ad in the newspaper asking for volunteers. No resumes necessary, all you needed to do was show up at Roy Thompson Hall, stand in a line of 20 people and fill out a form. You were immediately given a beautiful TIFF x Roots shirt and you were good to go. My theatre was the Uptown (RIP) on Yonge Street which had a secret back entrance for timid celebs, and for us volunteers, an endless supply of free popcorn. With each shift my goal was to get as close as possible to my favourite stars, and it was easy. I stood beside Hilary Swank as she rode the escalator to her screening of Boys Don’t Cry (her short hair looked amazing.) I was asked by a very chiseled and handsome Guy Pearce to direct him to the restroom. I played security guard for Randy Quaid’s film reels until he arrived. I sat 2 seats away from Ethan Hawke as he squirmed through his own film. The entire culture was different, celebrities arrived in t-shirt’s and jeans (Jake Gyllenhaal) and sat beside movie goers for the entire film without any arrogance (Maggie Gyllenhaal.) As you walked in Yorkville you were surrounded by the likes of Liev Schreiber, Gerald Butler and Denzel Washington as they popped into the shops, and it felt special.
As TIFF has become a festival juggernaut the mood surrounding it has transformed. Where in the past you might rub shoulders with Michelle Rodriguez and Carrie-Anne Moss in line at the concession stand, fans now find themselves pushed behind barriers, black suburbans, and swarms of personal assistants. This year’s drought of star power almost feels like a sign that perhaps it’s time for a reboot. TIFF was once real, fun and accessible. Let’s find a way to get back to that, so stars don’t merely fly into Toronto for a quick advertisement. Instead enjoying the atmosphere of our city and its pure fandom.
I celebrated National Cinema Day at the theatre for 6 hours.
What I watched and whether it was worth $4
Blue Beetle
I have adored Xolo Mariduena from the moment I saw him as a kid on TV’s Parenthood. His sweetness and inherent goodness is one of the reasons that Cobra Kai is such a success. To sum it up Xolo has that “It Factor,” and now he proves it on the big screen as DC’s newest crusader. The Blue Beetle at first glance is a B superhero. His superpowers are not particularly mind blowing and consist of gadgets that pale in comparison to Batman’s arsenal. Moreover, the “Bug Ship was so silly that I half expected an Orkin truck to be following it from behind. Nevertheless, what Blue Beetle lacks in tech it more than makes up in heart. Blue Beetle is an immigrant story rooted in familial love. Never white washing the characters, everything is seen from a Mexican perspective. Mispronounced names are corrected, subtitles are prevalent and the soundtrack vibrates with a Latino flavour. Moreover, the comedy is hilarious and George Lopez must be commended for his dead pan delivery and quips. Blue Beetle breaks down an array of stereotypes from what it means to be a true hero to the belief that the DC universe is only comprised of dark unflinching characters. For the first time we witness a superhero movie in which the protagonist’s true superpower is the strength of his family and their ability to work together to fight injustice. This movie has an excellent cast, the dialogue is funny and the presentation is fresh. Definitely worth a full price admission.
Gran Turismo
I will just come out and say it, was this movie necessary? I know it sounds rough but I left the theatre wondering who demanded to have this “true story” told? Firstly, I’ll start with the good: David Harbour is amazing. He steals each scene with conviction and even makes receiving a Sony Digital Walkman in the movie a moment of great emotion, (in direct contrast to the great disappointment any other person would feel.) His talent is wasted and I recommend Violent Night and Stranger Things: Season 4 for a fun Harbour-centric experience. The Bad: Orlando Bloom. When did Bloom lose his ability to act because his performance is based solely on a variety of bizarre facial expressions and over the top shouting. (I miss Legolas.) Plot wise the story is haphazardly glued together with foreign locales and various difficulty stages with few electrifying moments in between. However, it is worth noting that when the movie reached its climactic finish line the entire audience began to clap very loudly. Did I miss something? Have I lost touch with my first generation PlayStation? Or maybe it’s that fact that at its core Gran Turismo is an underdog story, and who doesn’t love seeing someone overcome the odds. Gran Turismo is worth the $4 admission, but gives off a strong straight to streaming vibe.
Summer 2023 Snack-Sized Movie Reviews
The Little Mermaid
Without the 1989 cartoon for comparison, The Little Mermaid is adequate. Chloe Bailey is an ideal combination of vulnerability and cuteness that is best showcased through her singing. However, I was disappointed by how much of the storyline had to be tweaked to satisfy Woke Disney, most specifically the change of lyrics in the song Part of Your World, the absence of Chef Louis and the introduction of her high-minded family. Disney Studios is clearly terrified to put forward an idea that may be perceived as outdated, so why not focus on new, original content instead?
The Flash
The Flash is one of the better superheroes movies to date and will keep you engaged from start to finish. Granted, actor Ezra Miller’s real life is an ugly mess and James Gunn has completely destroyed the Snyderverse. Nevertheless, the story is multifaceted, the acting is entertaining and seeing Michael Keaton don The Batman cape once again is pure comic book magic. I can’t forget to mention my most favourite part which was the introduction of Supergirl who is just the right amount of moody, sexy and modern… a complete revelation.
Indian Jones and the Dial of Destiny
Mocked by many for having an octogenarian in the title role, Harrison Ford proves he is perennially cool. Saying this movie caters only to seniors is doing it a great disservice. Instead, if you’re a fan of the first two installments in this franchise you will enjoy Dial of Destiny. The CGI in the opening sequence is well done except for the failure to de-age Ford’s voice. The story has a Spielberg/Lucas quality while the understated celebrity cast enhances its retro vibe. Like many classic 80’s blockbusters Dial of Destiny is packed full of stunts, exotic locales and sci/fi surprise.
Mission Impossible: Dead Reckoning
To be blunt, this movie is alright, but the story has been sacrificed for outrageous stunts that don’t measure up to it’s predecessors. Let’s get real with regards to the “Big Stunt,” there is no way Tom Cruise parachuted from a full speed motorcycle cliff dive. Cruise is not Evil Knievel and the visual is overhead without even a glimpse of Cruise’s face. We are aware that Hollywood magic is at the forefront of every blockbuster, but as a movie lover I don’t appreciate being treated as a gullible viewer. It is worth noting that Pom Klementieff’s portrayal as Paris serves as the perfect balance of homicidal maniac and vulnerable ingenue, think Jaws in The Spy Who Loved Me, but better.
Barbie
For years Barbie has been portrayed as a bad influence on little girls but Barbie: The Movie changes that. The sets are spot on from Barbie’s dream house to her pink corvette, while the plywood beach waves and waterless pools create a masterful simplicity. Margot Robbie breathes life into an inanimate toy with every mannerism, regardless of her new found flat feet and cute cellulite, while Ryan Gosling must be praised for his plastic Ken physique. Never preachy, the poignant messages are both visual and emotional and unlike anything you have ever experienced before. A must watch for everyone.
Oppenheimer
If you want to survive Barbenheimer 2023 this is a movie that must be experienced on the big screen. In typical Christopher Nolan fashion striking sounds and stark imagery is utilized to amp up the Atomic experience. Moreover, you will be blown away by how many great actors are in this movie. Although the science was above my Grade 9 capabilities it didn’t matter because the the themes are straightforward. Perseverance, bullying and miscalculations are things we have all faced, therefore making Oppenheimer’s explosive journey relatable and never boring.