Tim Burton’s artistry resurfaces with Beetlejuice Beetlejuice
Beetlejuice Beetlejuice is the sequel I didn't realize I had been anticipating my entire life. I can still recall dissecting the original Beetlejuice with my friends in a way that only a tween can. Here I am 36 years later and just as giddy about Tim Burton’s newest work.
For two decades Tim Burton has been focusing his talent on lacklustre retellings, from Planet of the Apes and Charlie and the Chocolate Factory to the nonsense that was Dark Shadows. The imagination that transformed Beetlejuice, Batman and Edward Scissorhands from film to pure art seemed all but lost. Heads up: Beetlejuice Beetlejuice begins in a disjointed manner as we quickly struggle to play catch up with the characters. We learn ghost whisperer Lydia Deetz (Winona Ryder) is all grown up with a dissatisfied daughter of her own named Astrid, played by Jenna Ortega. Beetlejuice meanwhile has expanded his Bio-Exorcist company and now has a call centre run by shrunken heads. However, a clever claymation sequence and Monica Belucci entrance (stylishly backed to the Bee Gees song Tragedy,) create the perfect mood. By the time Astrid arrives at the treehouse Burton is firing on all cylinders.
What I loved most about Beetlejuice Beetlejuice is that all the characters have a new level of depth. Lydia’s rebellious goth girl has been replaced by an easily damaged woman. While Delia’s (Catherine O’Hara) superficial veneer showcases a new found intensity. Moreover, the notion of dying has been transformed from an endless purgatory to one of hope. In Burton’s afterlife you can dance your way onto the ‘soul train’ or even find your dream job. Death is no longer an ending but a journey that might be even more exciting then one’s time on earth. Case in point Wolf Jackson’s (Willem Dafoe) clever turn from actor in life to detective in death. Even Beetlejuice (played with exactness by Michael Keaton,) finally gets a Burtonesque backstory set in black and white complete with subtitles. Burton’s creativity is abundant in this film while the costuming and makeup serve as a beautiful reprieve from a cgi saturated world. Moreover, each costumed demise effectively serve up a backstory of what happened during their final moments. Never feeling like a simple rehash, this new chapter continues to push the story forward while steering us toward a trilogy.
Once Beetlejuice Beetlejuice started and the classic Geffen logo disappeared I was nervous. Would this newest incarnation be as fun as it was in the 80’s. I am happy to report Beetlejuice Beetlejuice is original, exciting and smart. The depiction of the living and dead, and how they intertwine, is not only amusing but also a beautiful metaphor. Who would have thought that a movie with a main character called Beetlejuice could have such existential possibilities.
The Cut Proves That Ozempic Isn’t The Only Way To Lose
It’s TIFF time and I must admit I have become disenchanted. Perhaps it’s due to my nostalgia for the festival in the noughties when tickets were $11 and celebrities actually hung out in the city. Nevertheless, I was thrust into “Tiffing” once again after being invited to the World Premiere of Orlando Bloom’s film. So I put my favourite dress on and made my way to Festival Row. First impression: Festival Row was beyond disappointing with nothing to do other than get a free slice of pizza. Once inside the Princess of Wales Theatre I noticed a large amount of empty seats, but at a price tag of $95 per ticket I wasn’t surprised. With Orlando Bloom and Katy Perry both in attendance the audience was electric complete with necks craned at full capacity and iPhones set to maximum zoom.
Orlando Bloom stars in The Cut about a retired boxer needing to make weight in order to fight one more time. This movie is unconventional in the fact that the majority of the film deals with “the cutting” of 32 pounds in 6 days in order to qualify. Scenes of fighting are replaced with graphic depictions of weight loss. Consequently, we see Bloom purge, sweat and harm himself in order to shed pounds. Last year after watching Gran Turismo I wrote: “When did Bloom lose his ability to act because his performance is based solely on a variety of bizarre facial expressions and over the top shouting. (I miss Legolas.)” After attending The Cut I can attest that Bloom still has it. Bloom does a spectacular job of portraying a man tortured mentally and physically by a life that hasn’t turned out quite right. His once handsome visage is marked by deep creases and downcast expression while his enviable physique becomes unbearable to look at.
Although Bloom really shows up in this project the film overall is not great. The reason I say this is simple, too many plot lines are introduced and statements are made that go nowhere. As a viewer I felt confused as I was pulled from one direction to the next without any recompense. While Caitríona Balfe, his trainer/girlfriend, and John Turturro, a master cutter, give good performances the story leaves too many loose ends. Why does Bloom’s character want to fight again? What is Balfe’s backstory and is Turturro an actual murderer? The entire film creates a thick fog surrounding what we think we know. One could argue that is the point thus creating a daze similar to Bloom’s hallucinations but what I see is sloppy storytelling. While the weight loss is the meat of the film where is the rest of the stuffing? While The Cut is unlike any boxing movie I have ever seen the potential is tainted by a bitter aftertaste of dissatisfaction. It is worth noting that there is a subtly beautiful moment at the end of the film involving a beef burger, a belt and a phone call. Orlando I urge you to keep making choices that push the envelope and showcase your masterclass capabilities. No Gran Turismo 2, I beg of you!
The Last Timbit
During my recent trip to the theatre I learned that the “BEST” Timbit is the Birthday Cake flavour. In homage, I have made my review 80 words long, the same amount of calories in one Timbit!
The Last Timbit had a run of five performances at The Elgin Theatre. Think Come From Away inside a Tim Hortons. I’ll admit the play was a blatant ad with musical numbers referencing menu items and fresh coffee. However the talent, particularly Chilina Kennedy and Jake Epstein (both from Broadway,) elevate a story that could have gone stale. The songs were catchy, the story was Hallmark reminiscent and the laughs were sugary. A pleasurable night out regardless of coffee affiliation.
Bummer Summer?
Lately I have found it hard to motivate myself to go to the cinema. With a lack of “summer blockbusters” I have chosen to jump into a public pool rather than sink into a bucket of popcorn. It may seem like a bummer summer but I remain optimistic.
Deadpool and Wolverine finally claw their way to the top in this buddy farce
The first 20 minutes of Deadpool and Wolverine had me terrified. The words Time Variance Authority sent a chill down my spine and my heart racing. Sacred timelines, branches, blah…blah…blah... I am tired of Marvel’s Multiverse. Let’s face it, it’s annoying, redundant and extremely confusing. In comparison it makes Christopher Nolan’s Memento a straightforward plot. However, as I gently clung to my Wolverine Best Friend’s necklace for support, a shift began to take place…the movie began to get really good. The story revolves around the fact that 20th Century Fox was sold to Disney in 2019. Consequently, imploding 20 years of Fox/Marvel content. Nevertheless (to my chagrin,) through the help of the multiverse Wolverine and Hugh Jackman are resurrected. To be clear Deadpool and Wolverine is not meant for children but it is fun and action packed. With all the hallmarks of Planes, Trains and Automobiles intertwined within the superhero genre, the story takes you on a road trip filled with hijinks and surprising characters. Ryan Reynolds and Hugh Jackman play off each other to perfection, while Channing Tatum must be commended for both his indecipherable delivery and deadpan face. While the story fails to propel the Deadpool franchise forward it will leave you with a pain in your side and hope for the future.
Trap takes you on a cat and mouse chase through the Rogers Centre
Upon seeing this trailer I was transfixed by Josh Hartnett’s gaze into the camera with a plastered on smile and twitch in his eye. Immediately it brought back images of Anthony Perkins in the final few moments of Psycho, and I was intrigued. Let’s get this out of the way. M. Night Shyamalan is not the inspiring director he once was, but movies such as Split and Old have set his trajectory on the uptick with Trap continuing that momentum. Trap takes place during a Taylor Swift-like concert attended by a serial killer and his daughter. The Rogers Centre is transformed into Tanaka Arena while a tween paradise is converted into a psychological playground. I will admit at first I was annoyed by the fact that Shyamalan nepo-cast his daughter in a central role. Nevertheless, Saleka does a good job and the reality is that Shyamalan has earned the right to cast whoever he wants. Boy am I glad he cast Josh Hartnett though, because it is refreshing to see him lead a good movie again. Although it has been long time it is clear that Hartnett has evolved his craft. As Hartnett’s character struggles we feel both his fear and need to escape. With each psychotic smirk he makes us cringe in response followed up with our own smirk, perhaps even hoping for his success. This movie is clever, multi-faceted and a mere fraction of the price of an Eras ticket.
The Bikeriders αnd A Quiet Place: Day One
Here we are in the midst of summer, a season that used to be associated with the blockbuster. This year I’m not quite feeling it. Sure there have been some good movies but nothing has dominated or even gained momentum as the season has progressed. Consequently, I’m feeling nostalgic for the bygone summers of Spielberg (or even Barbie for that matter.) So which movies are worth your time?
The Bikeriders is a mashup of, Easy Rider, vintage Levi’s and Marlon Brando
20 minutes into this film and I started to get a sense of déjà vu. The imagery reminded me of a series of photographs I had seen at the AGO. My memory ended up serving me well because The Bikeriders depicts the lives of a motorcycle club inspired by Danny Lyon’s 1968 photo-book. This movie is not only an enjoyable ride but has one of the best casts I’ve seen in years, Firstly, Jodie Comer commands the screen. Her accent will blow your mind and leave you speechless with every event she recounts and every eyebrow raise she makes. Austin Butler oozes coolness as he balances an unhinged personality with an impressively coiffed head of hair. Meanwhile, Tom Hardy convincingly portrays the enigmatic club President, and in doing so channels Marlon Brando without becoming a caricature. What I particularly loved about this movie is the organic form of storytelling. Similar to a series of Polaroids, we are introduced to vivid characters (each acted exceptionally by an assortment of men,) and backstories that are quick, effective but never confusing. We see this club behind the veneer, we fear some if its members and we understand the desire to join. With such diversity to immerse yourself in, The Bikeriders it worth the trip.
A Quiet Place: Day One provides little excitement and a whole lot of boredom
As I settled in to watch this this film in IMAX I expected War of The Worlds meets Independence Day meets indie film…that is until everything went quiet. Am I missing the point here? The reality is A Quiet Place: Day One sets out to thrill us by taking us to where it all began, but boy does it miss the gut punch one would except on the first day of an alien invasion. The real problem with this movie starts in the first scene when we are introduced to Sammy, portrayed by Lupita Nyong’o. Immediately you know what is going to happen to her character and that destroys the entire trajectory of the film. Other plot line killers include the ridiculous speed in which it is determined that these aliens hate loud sounds and the reappearance of the same characters repeatedly. This is set in New York City, the most densely populated major city in the United States, what are the odds of running into Djimon Hounsou over and over again or finding a runaway cat three times. I did enjoy seeing Joseph Quinn (Eddie from Stranger Things) on the big screen but had hoped for a better role for him. Although there is some good acting, A Quite Place: Day One misses the entire point of taking us back to where it all began.
Next week I review The Last Timbit.
I remain in awe by which Timbit is considered “The Best”
The Watchers is an unpolished M. Night Shyamalan film
I remember when M. Night Shyamalan was touted as an Alfred Hitchcock for a new generation, and he proved it with three blockbusters one after the other. The stories, cinematography and twist endings made the Shyamalan name synonymous with thrills and mystery. The Watchers however, is not directed by M. Night Shyamalan but his influence can be felt throughout the entire movie.
25 years after M. Night Shyamalan’s breakout film debut his daughter, Ishana Shyamalan, is at the helm of a big budget Hollywood movie. Do I hear the groans of Nepo baby? Of course! How can we not go there, think Sofia Coppola before she became an esteemed director. Nevertheless, the real question should be does this young Shyamalan have the talent? To be clear The Watchers exceeded my tepid expectations. Based on A.M. Shine’s cult gothic novel the story takes place in the Irish woods where a group of four find themselves trapped and observed on a daily basis. While escape from the woods is forbidden, the consequences for not falling in line are even more dire. Immediately my curiosity was piqued and it stayed in that state for more then half of the film.
With all the hallmarks of the Shyamalan style there was much to enjoy. The acting is superb with breakout performances by Georgina Campbell and Olwen Fouere. The pacing and visuals are intriguing, from the initial caged bird’s perspective to the image of Dakota Fanning up against the two-way mirror. The flow of the storytelling seems familiar however, with the use of lingering memory flashbacks reminding me of Signs and Split. Nevertheless, the biggest problem with this movie is the lacklustre ending. M. Night Shyamalan’s most recent movies such as Glass, Old and Knock at the Cabin have all fallen flat due to blah finales. Ishana Shyamalan falls into that same fate with a climax that is confusing, muddled and stitched together haphazardly. While the journey begins enjoyably, the ending destroys much of its potential and will have the viewer seeking out the novel for a more satisfying experience.
I found it almost impossible to discern which Shyamalan was at the helm of The Watchers. I want to believe that Ishana Shyamalan has talent and there were moments throughout the film that felt fresh. Even if we are to believe that M. Night Shyamalan did not help his daughter we can all agree that she had the best of movie making talent at her disposal. From cinematographers to camera men and script writers to special effects crew, The Watchers had an advantageous start. My hope is that with more experience Ishana Shyamalan’s future projects will find their own distinct appearance thus rising her to ranks of other prestigious father-daughter directing combos. *BTW I saw the trailer for M. Night Shyamalan’s The Trap (coming out in August) and it looked intriguing, with a homage to Anthony Perkins that will make your skin crawl.
Furiosa A Mad Max Saga is an enjoyable hellish nightmare
The Mad Max world is not one that I have found myself seeking out or particularly enjoy being immersed in. The inhabitants are filled with gross deformities and even more perverse minds, which makes the Wasteland a squeamish place to visit. After purchasing my ticket to Furiosa: A Mad Max Saga, I found myself mentally preparing for a difficult trip.
Furiosa serves as an origin story and begins 15 years before the events of Mad Max: Fury Road. Anya Taylor-Joy takes over from Charlize Theron as Furiosa, a girl abducted by a demented motorcycle gang lead by Chris Hemsworth, aptly named Dr. Dementus. Both Taylor-Joy and Hemsworth find themselves in unchartered territory yet are able to shine. When an actor makes you forget about their celebrity status you know they have done a good job. I can honestly say I did not think once of the always valiant Thor while watching Hemsworth onscreen. Meanwhile, Taylor-Joy’s expressive large eyes gave Fuirosa a fresh pulse. The meaningful performances continue with Tom Burke (Praetorian Jack) who says little but emotes much. Moreover, Charlee Fraser (Mary Jo Bassa) steals the opening credits and leaves you wishing she had more screen time.
Within the first few minutes of Furiosa I began to see Director George Miller in a new light. On one hand he paints this cringe-worthy universe but with that same brush he fleshes out female characters who are strong willed and totally bad ass. Comparable to Beatrix “The Bride” and Wonder Woman, each female portrayed is unwavering in her strength and has an innate ability for sacrifice and battle. Miller’s genius continues with his stunning apocalyptic cinematography highlighted by Gas Town and The Bullet Farm. The fast fidgety cuts add another layer to his artistry while taking an exhausted plot and revitalizing it. It is worth noting there is a Mad Max cameo to watch out for while the closing credits will pump you up just when you thought the action was over.
As a woman I expected to be repulsed by this film, instead as a movie buff, I found myself completely enjoying it. Is this movie better than Fury Road? I thought Charlize Theron was excellent but this new chapter makes Furiosa more meaningful because of her backstory, and I found myself liking it even more. With themes of rebirth, vengeance and a good old fashioned David vs Goliath story, Furiosa: A Mad Max Saga is a worthy addition to the franchise.
* I received a request from one of my readers for a review of the 1996 movie Fargo which was both surprising and exciting. After rewatching it I realized I didn’t enjoy as much anymore. Yes, it has its Quentin Tarantino edginess, which in 1996 was revolutionary, but the depiction of small town folk as simple and dimwitted really turned me off. The acting is masterclass but the present changes in attitudes and sensitivities date this movie. That said, Season 2 of the TV series was the best.
The Fall Guy Pulses Forward at Full Speed
Not since Jaqueline Smith has anyone looked gorgeous when taking off a full face helmet, yet Ryan Gosling rises up to the challenge and succeeds spectacularly. The Fall Guy takes its name from the 1980’s TV show starring Lee Majors about a stuntman/bounty hunter. Truthfully, this movie has little to do with the TV show but what it lacks in homage it more then makes up for daringness. Gosling is sharp as a stuntman seeking atonement from his true love (Emily Blunt.) He is contemplative, fun and proves he is more then capable of the comedy and action fusion that is demanded of him. Moreover, the supporting cast is dripping with talent, from the ever-endearing Emily Blunt, chameleon Aaron Taylor-Johnson and director David Leitch (Atomic Blonde and Deadpool 2.) While jam packed stunts will be the main draw for the masses, it’s worth noting that the chemistry between Gosling and Blunt is almost too good to be true. It has been a long time since I have seen a couple onscreen be so effortlessly playful with one another and I found it both refreshing and inspiring. The banter between these two will leave you smiling and perhaps questioning whether this is reality or just (REALLY)good acting. It is this exact point however that brings me to my first criticism of the film. In both The Fall Guy trailers there are some super cute moments between Blunt and Gosling that were scratched from the movie. Nothing annoys me more than seeing something in a trailer that initially grabs my attention (and I am anticipating,) only to be disappointed at its removal in the final cut. Sorry David Leitch you dropped the ball with that one. Secondly, as much as I love the song I Was Made For Lovin’ You I don’t want to hear it repeated on a loop throughout the entire movie. How about a little Bon Jovi or Aerosmith as an option for the official soundtrack? Regardless of a few sticking points The Fall Guy delivers everything that you would expect from a true summer blockbuster. So get off that couch and head to the cinema with me.
Kingdom of The Planet of The Apes puts the waste in wasteland
Decades before this newest incarnation there was Charleston Heston and the remnants of the Statue of Liberty…and that was awe inspiring. Nevertheless, since 1968 there have been countless spinoffs and retellings all of which I have trouble remembering. I recall Woody Harrelson and Keri Russell were part of the saga and there was an origin story with James Franco that was good, but there is nothing wow-wee about each story. On its own Kingdom of The Planet of The Apes is adequate. The voice artistry of Owen Teague (Noa) and Peter Macon (Raka) is well performed with Teague portraying an honest vulnerability through his words (a departure from his role in The Stand 2021.) The CGI is exceptional with a heightened realism that brings vibrancy to a tortured tribe and desolate world. The plot is capped off with a powerful scene in which Noa and his fellow apes encounter a children's book that shows a drawing of a caged monkey in a zoo. All these elements should be meaningful enough but there is nothing new that is being offered. Essentially, its the same story over and over and over again with each version sadly blurring into its predecessor.
Meet Mademoiselle Movie
I’m sitting in the cinema as I type, the Mademoiselle Movie. Hang on a minute you might reasonably ask, who is the Mademoiselle Movie and more to the point why should we take advice from her? Simply put I’m a woman who has lived and loved movies her entire life. I know what your next thought is, what sets me apart from the score of men reviewing movies each week? Well I didn’t wake up one morning and decide I wanted to critique popular culture, instead I worked hard. First in University with degrees in English, Communications and Education. Secondly, by sitting in theatres for hours on end (while consuming copious amounts of popcorn and Coca-Cola,) to discover what works and what doesn’t. I have the brains but more importantly I have the innate ability to decipher what is cool and what is just plain garbage…and that cannot be taught. I’m here to help my fellow movie lovers navigate a world flooded with content while providing driven, informed and thoughtful analysis. Each week I will be publishing new reviews while accepting suggestions from those seeking out the best in entertainment. So settle in and catch my reviews exclusive to Chick-N-Joy. Maybe if you’re lucky you will even catch me at your local Cineplex, I will be the one wearing ball gown to an action movie. They do call me the Mademoiselle for a reason. Till next time.
Monkey Man slices and dices its way to the big screen
I will begin my review by stating that I am perplexed by Monkey Man’s poor box office returns. Sadly, a new trend in society has emerged. The ability to coexist has been replaced by organized hate, while cancel culture surrounds us and bullying remains hidden behind usernames. Which leads me to wonder: How do these behaviours effect which movies are successful and which fail to resonate with the masses?
Monkey Man feels a bit like John Wick as it follows one man’s journey to get revenge. Dev Patel (Slumdog Millionaire,) plays double duty as both the protagonist and director of this film. Similar to John Wick there is an event that sends our hero, referred to as the Kid, on a vengeful path. There is a lot to enjoy in this film. Firstly, Monkey Man is laid out in three distinct portions as it moves from revenge to healing and back to revenge. In the first part we see the Kid struggling to execute his plan. The second part was a bit foreign to me as it heavily intertwined elements of Hindu mythology with the hijra community. While the scenes in the monastery are unexpected for this genre, I found myself liking them the most. Unlike storytelling in most North American features, Monkey Man approaches strength and courage against corruption in a manner that is yet to be exploited and that is what makes it so special.
The third part of Monkey Man is where the film truly hits its stride. I have yet to speak about why the Kid is seeking revenge and that is because it is very emotional. There is no cute puppy but instead a moment that is painful to watch. Consequently, after seeing the catalyst for Kid’s brutality I wouldn’t have minded a bit more butt kicking on his behalf. I love a great action film and when executed perfectly the fighting takes on an almost balletic rhythm. The structure of the fighting in Monkey Man feels crisp. Firstly, guns have been replaced with knives thus allowing a whole lot of wild hacking to happen. Secondly, Patel keeps the shots very close which allows for some hand and leg movements to be visible while others hidden, thus amping up each blow. As a viewer you feel as if you’re right beside the Kid, constrained and fighting. Each movement is imperfect, quick and effective. Moreover, the transformation physically of the Kid is inspiring. In his tailored black suit, the tall and handsome Patel is not just an Indian facsimile of John Wick, he could be John Wick.
When I was in Grade 6 we read a poem about how Canada was a cultural mosaic and the United States was an “unpleasant” melting pot. What happened to that optimistic state of mind where as Canadians we were eager to mix and learn with each other. It’s not a stretch to believe that the box office is reflecting a change. While one might say Monkey Man feels “alien” or “too far” removed, I would vehemently argue that regardless of background we can all identify as being the underdog and having to rise up.
Road House vs Road House
Other than catching a few minutes of Road House on AMC I have never seen the 1989 version starring Patrick Swayze in its entirety. To be honest, I never thought I would like it. It wasn’t till I heard a remake was coming out with Jake Gyllenhaal that I decided to invest in a double feature of the original and the redo… and in the end only one is worth watching.
The original Road House is enjoyable for the same reason most 80’s movies are…they don’t take themselves seriously. The story is simple. Dalton (Swayze) is hired as a “cooler” to clean up a local bar riddled with problems. Dalton is an incorruptible man with the mantra “be nice” who avoids violence at all costs…until he can’t. From the get go the movie is gritty, seedy and a bit cheesy with lines such as “with that line of work I thought you’d be bigger.” Nevertheless, each scene is acted with the utmost sincerity and you never feel like you are watching something comical. Swayze is in his element playing a zen (often shirtless,) cool guy without even flinching. Add in a boyish Jeff Healey as the resident musician and Kelly Lynch (as the brainy doctor/gorgeous love interest) and you have 80’s perfection. However, it is Sam Elliott who steals this movie. From the moment he runs his hands through his spectacular hair and utters the words “double douche” in that signature twang you can’t help but be charmed. No one looks like Sam Elliott, no one talks like Sam Elliott and no one is as effortlessly gutsy as he is. Yes, it appears that I have a bit of a crush on Sam Elliott, but that is what makes this movie so enjoyable. Road House has something for everyone: violence, power, sex appeal and most importantly an abundance of fun.
Road House 2024 on the other hand is not entertaining. Firstly, why is Dalton a former UFC fighter? Sorry, I’m getting ahead of myself but this newest incarnation is the ULTIMATE disappointment. To begin with in this version Dalton (Jake Gyllenhaal) is a former UFC fighter hired to clean up a rowdy bar in the Florida Keys. The bar in question is a cute tiki style establishment with a constant rotation of trendy bands. Immediately, I could tell that this version was way too sanitized for my liking. For example, during Dalton’s first “big” fight scene with a group of bad guys, (which by the way is a direct ripoff of Jack Reacher 2012,) Dalton beats up the group and then proceeds to drive them to the hospital. Stupid? Yes, big time! Road House continues on this brainless trajectory by including Conor McGregor as a UFC fighter trying to act as a UFC fighter. Sadly, although I am a Gyllenhaal fan (see Nocturnal Animals,) this movie only showcases his abs which could quite frankly grate cheese. The story is laughable, the cast is forgettable and the entire vibe is off. Skip this and watch the original and be sure to fast forward to the parts with Sam Elliott
Dune 2 and Love Lies Bleeding
Dune 2 is Dry As Dust
Nuff said
Love Lies Bleeding proves that the pursuit of love can get brutal
A slick trailer featuring Bronski Beat, Kristen Stewart and 80’s exercise gear: there was a lot to look forward to with Love Lies Bleeding even before the projector rolled. The story begins with a drifter/aspiring bodybuilder, Katy M. O’Brian, and a gym manager played by Kristen Stewart. The two meet, fall in love, kill and clean up. Yes, I’m overly simplifying this movie but the storyline is so out there that I don’t want to spoil it for you. What I can share is that Love Lies Bleeding is uninhibited, ultra violent and shocking.
Stewart gives another top-tier performance as Lou, a woman haunted by her past while struggling with her conscience. There are many closeups of Stewart in this movie with the darks circles under her eyes and her disheveled hair telling her story. Lou is lost, alone and struggling to connect with anyone. Jackie (O’Brian) on the other hand is the complete antithesis of Lou, she is feminine, showy and quick to anger. This movie is truly a testament to violence and how one act can snowball into another and another. No matter how Lou or Jackie try to justify their ferocity the cycle is bound to continue and we as the viewer are along for the ride. There are many moments in this movie that will cause you to jolt out of your seat but what I found most intriguing was the bodybuilding aspect. Jackie is obsessed with working out, so much so that she looks exactly like Marvel’s She-Hulk(see cover art for Marvel Graphic novel #18 1985 .) When Jackie loses control we see her body visibly transform. This brings an unearthly aspect to a story heightened in realism. Jackie remains an enigma throughout the film only to floor us during her final moments on screen. Lou on the other hand is seemingly manipulated by others only choosing to reveal herself during the end credits.
Love Lies Bleeding is unlike anything I have seen in a very long time. This movie is gritty and sharp with an unprecedented ending that will blow your mind.
Awards night excitement and Frankenstein
I am eagerly awaiting Oscars night. You see the Oscars have always been my Super Bowl and I am preparing myself. I know people say the Oscars are boring, long and pretentious but lets get real, this is a Hollywood event full of actors, so profound pontification it to be expected. What I love most about the Oscars are the looks. If you want to know what haircut, lipstick shade or outfit will be the next big thing this is the night to pay attention. I’m also looking forward to seeing what the men will be wearing. Pedro Pascal’s hybrid of swashbuckler meets “Puffy Shirt” look at the SAG’s had me convulsing with laughter, while Ryan Gosling modelled yet another alluring Gucci number. Looks aside, I’m always curious to find out which movies will win and which movies will be snubbed. Sorry Barbie, even though you ruled the box office I predict your only win will be for Best Original Song. Oscar night also brings the promise of high drama, quotable speeches and record breaking wins. Here’s wishing Lily Gladstone brings home a well deserved statuette for Killers of The Flower Moon. There are 23 categories when all is said and done and I have made my predictions for all of them. Consequently, I am going into the night confident with all my picks.
One movie that won’t be winning any awards however is Lisa Frankenstein
I know it’s a clumsy segue but I’m eager to share my newest review. Written by the Oscar winning writer of Juno, Diablo Cody and directed by Zelda Williams (Robin Williams’ daughter,) Lisa Frankenstein is a cluttered mess. The poster for this movie is beautiful with its attractive 80’s Weird Science appearance and humorous tagline. “If you can’t meet your perfect boyfriend…make him.” Not only cute but clever. I know I have a few exes that I wouldn’t mind piecing together to create my ideal. Hmmm….I’ll take his abs and that killer smile please. Initial perception aside the actual film is a disaster. The plot revolves around teenager Lisa Frankenstein, Kathryn Newton, who discovers a man brought back from the dead. She precedes to use real human parts to make him whole again via a tanning bed with serious electrical problems Don’t get me wrong the idea has all the features of a fun coming of age movie but the execution is subpar. Firstly, the acting is not good with the entire cast overplaying, making each joke fall flat. Cole Sprouse, as the Creature, is the only highlight and while he doesn’t say more then one sentence, he steals scenes with his offbeat facial expressions. Secondly, the silhouette sequence during the opening credits is a direct copy of Tim Burton’s Corspe Bride. The similarities with Tim Burton continue with obvious poaching from Edward Scissorhands and Beeetlejuice. Thirdly, both the story and visuals have no natural flow making it more student film rather than a studio feature. Sadly, the idea seemed promising but the poor artistry stripped it of any value.
The Beekeeper and Night Swim
Cinemas are embroiled in a never ending battle to get people away from their televisions. $5 Tuesdays anyone? Like many I have all the streaming services and lately I spend too much time jumping between them trying to figure out what to watch. Let’s be honest, streaming services have a lot of junk on them and I am over wasting my time on mediocrity, whether it’s twenty minutes or two hours. Here are two flicks that came out in theatres and were sadly forgotten.
The Beekeeper targets our emotions unlike any other Jason Statham vehicle I have ever seen. To be clear I loved Jason Statham in Lock, Stock and Two Smoking Barrels and The Transporter…and then the love affair started to fade. I began to find all of his movies formulaic and that Statham, as an actor, didn’t have the charisma to sustain my attention. That is until The Beekeeper, which appears to be a typical revenge flick. What makes this movie work however is the catalyst for the subsequent violence which is relatable and full of merit. Without giving anything away, I thoroughly enjoyed watching Statham standing up for a segment of society that is suffering from rampant abuse. His desire for reprisal had my support and I cherished every kick and punch he delivered. Unlike equivalent John Wick films, the fighting in The Beekeeper feels purposeful and gritty while showcasing Statham’s superior physicality. Hopefully, Statham will continue on this trajectory with his future choices because he finally won me over. A fun movie with an unexpected storyline.
Night Swim strives to do for the swimming pool what Jaws did for the ocean. The idea behind this movie is perfect, a killer pool that preys upon all who enter it wearing elastane or polyester. Cue Wyatt Russell (Kurt Russell’s son) and Kerry Condon and you have a fresh set of players to round out the cast. There is a lot to like about this movie. Russell tugs at our heartstrings as a baseball player whose career has been cut short. Story wise the idea of having an inanimate object as the villain is very refreshing. The major flaw of this film however is the lack of a backstory. In 2002’s The Ring we witnessed a videocassette that had the ability to kill the viewer. We came to understand how the evil was created and then the story unraveled logically. I wanted to see a similar rhythm in Night Swim. While an explanation is revealed for this demonic pool it feels rushed and half baked. A slower buildup of tension and more exposition would have made Night Swim a scarier cult classic. Either way it has me rethinking my evening swim.
There is something magical about going to the cinema and sitting in a theatre of like minded people who laugh and scream at the same parts as you. It’s a community that you can’t join from your couch. Sometimes going to the cinema is a risk because the movie might suck and sometimes it can be a revelation. Either way you will find me there each weekend reviewing the newest that Hollywood has to offer.
Killers of the Flower Moon proves Scorsese still has it
When Killers of the Flower Moon was released in theatres I didn’t rush out to see it. Of course I was intrigued at the prospect of a new film with the names Scorsese, De Niro and DiCaprio…but then I remembered The Irishman. Well that isn’t entirely true, I don’t remember much about The Irishman aside from the pricey and awful de-aging technology. The edginess that Scorsese achieved in every shot of his films has seemingly gone missing in the last 15 years, and with each new movie my anticipation has diminished. Yet I digress, as I stated in my opening sentence I didn’t rush out to see this movie and that was my mistake.
If you have ever felt bullied, intimidated or forgotten this movie is for you. At first glance Killers of the Flower Moon might feel too uncomfortable and that is precisely its objective. The story focuses on a series of murders of Osage members in 1920’s Oklahoma. From start to finish the sheer scope and ruthlessness of these murders will seem unbelievable, even though it is true. The stark imagery, dense costumes and gritty colour invoke feelings of being constrained. As the story progresses the booming sounds continue to build upon that discomfort. Recently, I have found myself becoming nostalgic for the Scorsese of old: Mean Streets, Goodfellas and The Departed. Well I am happy to report Scorsese successfully brings back that same grittiness and transplants it into history.
The authenticity of this film is achieved by the brilliant performances of all of its actors. I was worried about De Niro being able to rise up to the occasion after an array of garbage roles and famously claiming he is “forced to work.” Nevertheless, he gives and amazing performance opposite an equally brilliant DiCaprio, whose downturned mouth and greedy eyes fuel his overall ugliness. The standout performance of the film however comes from Lily Gladstone who will win the Academy Award. Gladstone immediately commands your attention. There is something so elegant about the way she sits and delivers her lines. I can’t quite pinpoint it but every word is precise with the perfect amount of emphasis and enunciation. Her acting is innate, powerful and deserving. Moreover, I must mention the amazing backgrounds actors, many of whom are not actors at all but chosen due to the length of their braids or chiseled features. I especially enjoyed Tommy Schultz who portrayed Blackie Thompson. Although his time on screen is limited his delivery is real.
It is hard to imagine that anyone could get away with targeting a particular group for money and then picking them off one by one without any police intervention. Such injustice is finally revealed in an excruciating fashion that only Scorsese can depict. With both brutality and empathy, there are few movies that I have watched and wished would never end. Killers of The Flower moon is one of them. Thus making Killers of the Flower Moon the best movie of 2023.
Stream It Or Leave It: Netflix Edition
May December will leave you uncomfortable and icky all over
Whether is was Inside Edition or The Jay Leno Show, the world was collectively repelled in the 90’s by the twisted true story of Mary Kay Letourneau. May December uses that as a blueprint in the marriage of Grace (Julianne Moore) and Joe (Charles Melton) a couple who were romantically linked when Grace was 36 and Joe was 13. Disturbed yet? It gets wilder when you throw in Elizabeth (Natalie Portman) an unbalanced actress portraying Grace in a made for tv movie. Although the subject matter is heavy, Director Todd Haynes unpacks it in a way that will keep you captivated. The acting is exceptional from all three as every nuance is captured to perfection, from Grace’s controlled lisp to Joe’s adolescent gestures and Elizabeth’s duplicity. The musical score heightens the experience with its dramatic piano notes evocative of Far From Heaven, (also directed by Todd Haynes and also incredible.) Moreover, the twist at the end will have you rethinking everything. Similar to a car crash, you won’t be able to turn away from your screen, Be forewarned, after viewing you will need to take a long soapy shower to get all the ewwwwww off. Stream It
Rebel Moon Part 1 is a mess…but there is hope
Rebel Moon is written and directed by Zack Snyder, the brains behind 300 and arguably the best superhero movie ever Justice League: The Snyder Cut. Without sugarcoating anything I can legitimately say Rebel Moon is a nonsensical mashup up of the very best of popular culture. From Star Wars to Game of Thrones and even Lost in Space, everything but the kitchen sink is in this movie. There are lightsabers, robots and a resurrection scene that is all to familiar. What was Snyder thinking? Speaking to DGA Director’s Cut Podcast, Snyder talked having to cut Rebel Moon into a Netflix mandated PG-13 version. He goes on to state that in the summer his R-Rated version will be released which will be a “completely different movie,” without the sanitation requested by the studio executives. Another Snyder Cut? I feel hope beginning to blossom once again. It’s worth noting amidst the mess this movie does have a very bright spot and that is the the cast which is precise and exciting. With Sofia Boutella, Ray Fisher, Bae Doona and my new personal favourite, Staz Nair, Snyder creates a surprising ensemble. I wish it was summer already.
Maestro hits all the wrong notes
Upon seeing the commercial for Bradly Copper’s latest directorial endeavour I expected an epic biography encapsulated within a romantic story. Maestro however is not a love story and Cooper is not able to convince us that Leonard Bernstein and his wife, played by Carey Mulligan, have any tenderness for one another. For the entire film Bernstein has multiple affairs, flaunts his boyfriends in front of his wife and children and is a complete cad. We never learn about Bernstein’s genius and true insights. Moreover, the only brilliance in this movie is Carey Mulligans’ performance. Leave It
Holiday Wrap Up
Silent Night creates a new genre, the sentimental revenge flick
If you haven’t heard of Silent Night starring Joel Kinnaman and directed by John Woo I’m not surprised, it had almost no PR. Silent Night is a hard movie to classify. On one hand the story is simple, Brian Godlock’s (Kinnaman) son gets killed on Christmas Day. Add John Woo into the mix and the execution of the story exudes an avant--garde flair. With zero dialogue, heart wrenching closeups and crisp visuals, Woo’s return to Hollywood is a welcome gift. What this movie nailed so skillfully was the concept of a regular man seeking retaliation. Unlike John Wick movies where the action unravels in a balletic rhythm, Silent Night is full of ugly fighting. Every blow plays out like a battle to the death while our hero struggles significantly. As Godlock delivers each fatal shot we can see a mixture of anger, shock and grief in his eyes. By taking a violent theme and filling it with true emotion Silent Night is my clear favourite of the holiday season.
Wonka and Aquaman
Wonka is an adequate film with a good supporting cast and mouthwatering imagery. Nevertheless, there is nothing memorable about this movie. The original songs are mediocre and Olivia Coleman, who I usually adore, gives an over the top performance more fitting of Miss Hannigan in Annie. To be clear I have never liked the character of Willy Wonka, whether it was Gene Wilder or Johnny Depp, Willy Wonka always came across as disturbing to me. Timothee Chalamet however changed that. The enjoyability of Wonka rests solely on Chalamet. Chalamet with his perfectly coiffed hair, effortlessly emanates goodness, sweetness and wide eyed optimism in every scene. See if for Chalamet but be prepared to be underwhelmed with the rest.
Aquaman and the Lost Kingdom serves as Jason Momoa’s swan song to the DC superhero. I am not happy about how James Gunn imploded the Snyderverse. The fact that all the superheroes, especially Wonder Woman, have been swept to the gutter only to rehash the same origin stories is frustrating. However, I must commend James Wan’s commitment to the fans as he works overtime to tie up loose ends. Aquaman and the Lost Kingdom begins by filling in the blanks on what has happened since the last movie. The story then shifts to a team up between Patrick Wilson’s character, Ocean Master, and Aquaman. I especially liked this part because it allowed both Wilson and Momoa to play off each other and have some fun. Be warned an odd mash up of the Cantina scene in Star Wars and Jules Vernes’ Journey to the Center of the Earth happens midway. Aquaman and the Lost Kingdom is not great but it has its moments.
I’ve been away from the cinema for a couple of weeks as I worked on my roller skating. Time to get back to the movies.
Anatomy Of A Fall is thriller devoid of thrills
The film begins at a secluded home in the French Alps where a man falls out of an attic window and dies. Was he pushed by his wife or was it simply an accident? If this were a Dateline Mystery we would cue Keith Morrison’s iconic voice and he would expertly guide us through every intricacy of the case. The twist and turns would have us on the edge of our seat for two hours. Sadly, this isn’t a Dateline (or even a thriller,) and that is where this movie fails for me. The thriller genre implies that a movie has suspense, surprise and intensity, all of which are lacking from this film. The detective work has no clever deduction and mystery while the courtroom scenes add little drama and intensity to plot. The movie drags the viewer through a monotonous journey without a Primal Fear ending that would have least given the story the payoff it sorely needed. Granted Anatomy Of A Fall won the Palme d’Or for Director Justine Triet and Sandra Huller gave the performance of the year as both grieving wife and suspect No 1. Nevertheless, regardless of the accolades this film is simply boring.
Maestro hit all the wrong notes
Upon seeing the commercial for Bradly Copper’s latest directorial endeavour I expected an epic biography encapsulated within a romantic story. I’ll be honest, I know virtually nothing about conductor/composer Leonard Bernstein. After viewing Maestro I found I still know nothing about conductor/composer Leonard Bernstein. I am not sure what story Cooper was trying to tell. Cooper fails to focus on Bernstein’s rise to fame while instead choosing to repeatedly show us what an awful man he was. Maestro is not a love story regardless of the ads and Cooper is not able to convince us that Leonard Bernstein and his wife, played by Carey Mulligan, have any tenderness for one another. For the entire film Bernstein has multiple affairs, flaunts his boyfriends in front of his wife and children and is a complete cad. We never learn about Bernstein’s genius and true insights. Moreover, the only brilliance in this movie is Carey Mulligans’ performance, which will assuredly garner her an Academy Award nomination. The way in which her carefree spirit and hopefulness is destroyed is a heartbreaking odyssey that must be witnessed firsthand. Save yourself the price of admission at the TIFF Lightbox and wait for Maestro’s release on Netflix.
Next Week: Silent Night and my Classic Holiday Movie Picks
A leftover from my cinema trip this past Sunday
As you all know by now I love scary movies and will always endorse the shower scene in Psycho as sheer perfection. Nevertheless, when it comes to slasher movies I still put my hand in front of my face and peek between my fingers as I watch. Thanksgiving takes place in Boston during the aforementioned holiday. The movie begins with a massive group of irate shoppers before Black Friday outside of a big box store. The imagery is familiar but the outcome is far more disturbing. I do not want to give away any spoilers, instead I will say this movie is really, really good. Patrick Dempsey successfully breaks free from his long held McDreamy image. His Boston accent never falters while his performance brings to mind countless Stephen King Sheriffs. The story is fun and the killer’s mask has the making of an iconic Halloween costume. However, what makes this movie truly disruptive is the manner in which each character reaches their demise. To be clear, I have never seen a human basted on screen but it had me both laughing and screaming out loud. Directed by Eli Roth, Thanksgiving is filled with gore, guts and creative butchery that will leave you scared senseless. I recommend you skip the cliche holiday movies this week and start a new tradition that oozes holiday flavour…complete with all the fixings.
The Marvels combusts into a confusing and clumsy mash-up
Although Wonder Woman has always been my favourite superhero, Brie Larson’s turn as Captain Marvel had me rearranging my top five. When I watched the final scene in Endgame, which hinted at Captain Marvel as the next leader of the Avengers, I was excited for the future. Sadly, The Marvels (which is both a sequel and Disney+ tie in) serves as a franchise destroyer.
2019’s Captain Marvel was a wonderful introduction to MCU’s most powerful Avenger. With a mixture of 90’s nostalgia, a banger soundtrack and an Academy Award winner playing the heroine, I loved this movie. I anticipated the sequel would continue Carol Danvers’ plot line but was surprised to see The Marvels begin in Kamala Khan’s bedroom. If you are confused already let me simplify this. There are three leads in The Marvels: Captain Marvel (Larsen,) Ms. Marvel (Iman Vellani) and Monica Rambeau (Teyonah Parris.) The latter two were introduced in Disney+ limited series which has me wondering why is Captain Marvel being upstaged already? A typical comic book sequel has the superhero on a solo adventure as we continue to get to know them. It isn’t until that the third movie that multiple villains appear and team-ups develop. This leads me to question Disney’s confidence in Captain Marvel.
The Marvels should have been a vehicle for Larsen to showcase her aptitude for the genre. Instead, her time on screen was minimized and overshadowed. Ms. Marvel and Wandavision were both enjoyable tv series. Nevertheless, like all Disney+ shows (except The Mandalorian,) each started out strong only to flame out in the final two episodes. Although Ms. Marvel was fresh and fun it always felt like I was watching a B List superhero. Consequently, I was surprised to see the considerable focus on her family in The Marvels which felt like a bonus episode. Although the Khan family is endearing, The Marvels relies heavily on them as comic relief which proves tiring. Meanwhile, Captain Marvel’s ridiculous transformation was annoying. I loved how gutsy and strong Larson’s Captain Marvel was in the first film (think back to her on the motorcycle in her NIN t-shirt.) Unfortunately, in the sequel she becomes a princess, sings, dances and corrals a group of kittens. I was left in disbelief as I witnessed so much potential implode monumentally on screen.
In writing this review there is little to analyze or be excited about. The story was weak, the villain inconsequential, the battles forgettable, and Nick Fury (Samuel Jackson) uncool. The MCU is oversaturated and the quality of theses movies has gone down considerably but I didn’t expect The Marvels to be Quantumania bad. It’s time for a complete MCU overhaul with great writing and storytelling that matters for the viewer.