Anaconda slithers in with laughs but leaves with a Boar

Next up on my holiday cinematic buffet: Anaconda. Wait, I’m not referring to to the the ‘90s version with its rubber snakes and accents that could make a GPS recalibrate.  No, this time we’ve got Paul Rudd (not aging as per usual,) playing a down on his luck actor rallying his equally despondent friends—Jack Black, Thandiwe Newton, and Steve Zahn—to reboot the “greatest” action movie ever.  This satire on Hollywood’s reboot obsession is sharp at first but somewhere along the jungle trail gets confusing and eventually becomes downright disappointing.  There are golden nuggets amidst the coils however.  The boar-on-the-head scene?  Perfection!  Jack Black portraying the human embodiment of an exclamation mark.  Brilliant!  Add in the surprise cameos from Ice Cube and J.Lo and for a moment I thought this might actually work but that feeling did not last.  In the end, Anaconda felt like a joke that started strong and ended with an embarrassing shrug.  The kind that makes you question why boars aren't used more often in cinema.  Although Anaconda had the setup just right to roast reboot culture, somewhere along the vine they lost their nerve.  Consequently, my holiday viewing wasn’t about chasing Oscar-worthy masterpieces. It was about questionable plot lines, surprise cameos and the simple joy of munching on cinema snacks…and that’s the true holiday spirit.